Let It Begin With Me

The song “Let there Be Peace on Earth and Let it Begin with Me” was written by Sy Miller and Jill Jackson in 1955 and is often associated with the Christmas season. The angel and the heavenly host proclaimed peace on earth to shepherds in the region of Bethlehem. The Miller and Jackson interpretation not only encourages self-examination and self-criticism, but also empowers each of us to be a part of the peace that is coming. Like Gandhi’s “Be the change you want to see,” we are taken from the thought of the overwhelming character of violence and conflict in our world and given a task: start with ourselves.

In one of the most influential recent books on conflict resolution, The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute, the authors begin by observing a common assumption when facing conflict, whether within families, at work, or at the geopolitical scale. It is usually assumed that others must change. The authors think this is a mistake that results in conflicts continuing as root causes go unaddressed or even are perpetuated in attempts to solve the very problems that they are causing.

If the root causes of all conflict—including the ones that we feel most powerless to address—are the same, overcoming them can certainly begin with me. The authors of The Anatomy of Peace identify bitterness, envy, indifference, and resentment, although the list can be expanded to include greed, fear, the need to control, and so on. Their point is that conflict cannot just be identified by actions since conflict refuses a heart at peace and nurtures a heart at war. Identifying these things gets us thinking about root causes. Wars can be hot or cold, violent or not violent. But a war that is cold and not outwardly violent is still a war. A heart at war refuses to believe the humanity of other people and sees them as objects and obstacles. A heart at peace emphasizes our shared humanity, looks for ways to cooperate, and commits to finding shared solutions to problems.

Nonviolence is about so much more than not being violent. It is about cultivating a heart at peace, open to discovering forms of violence within ourselves that we did not know to call violence; welcoming truth from strangers, including enemies; and looking for what is good and beautiful in ourselves and around us. The Arbinger Institute and countless others who put in the hard work to resolve (or reframe) conflicts will point to this work as usually being arduous and drawn out, especially since hearts at war can be resistant to embracing an alternative. But there’s no shortcut around dealing with the root causes, which is why peace on earth begins with each of us.